Could It Be?

Several controversies are swirling about the peloton these days. It appears that the dog days of summer have settled into the psyche of the Firestone and Summit gang. There has not been such news since Coolio's alleged hidden internal motor incident. In case you have missed one or more of the last few rides, here is a summary of what's happening:

1. Tim "Grocery" Fox and yours truly both had spokes break on the same day this week! The awful smell of foul play has wafted upon the peloton. I know, it's shocking to think of the sinister minds that are behind such a brutal attack on the Clydesdale boys. But wait, there's more, both broken spokes were located in the rear wheels of their unsuspecting victims...an obvious attack on the raw power of the Clydesdales. Someone must be jealous of the incredible torque generated that these Beasts of the Bicycle. (BOB) Clydesdale Warning: If you are among the Fellowship of the Clydesdale Brotherhood, (FOCB), please check your machine carefully for any tampering, especially with the rear wheels. (Word on the street is that it may be one of the Young Jedis.)

2. Tuesday morning shortly after dawn, a lone figure on a red steed (bicycle) was spotted through the early morning mist on Firestone heading north toward Summit. Upon closer observation, it was determined that it was the peculiar riding style that can only be, Count Fishbone! Yes, there has been a confirmed Count Fishbone sighting. This begs the question however, when you consider the crack of dawn hour, is the Count participating in the infamous Double Secret Workout Training Regimen? Could it be? We must know, therefore we have employed spotters throughout southeastern Pensacola armed with video surveillance equipment to obtain the evidence needed to bring the Count to justice. (I know, one of our own. I'm sure you are as shocked as I am.)

3. I, your humble and albeit lovable bloganator, has been brutally and falsely accused of misquoting Clint Eastwood in the movie The Outlaw Josie Wales. As you can see from the previous blog posted, I quoted Mr. Eastwood as saying, "Dying ain't much of a living, boy." And, "A man's got to know his limitations." Both of these I used as metaphors regarding hydrating before and during a long hot day in the saddle. I thought it was a clever way of saying, it's only a bike ride, it's not worth dying over. And, know your own body and how much suffering you can endure. Well, instead of heeding the warning, the accuser has attacked the messenger! This controversy will rage on long after we've discovered the correct quotes. It will last to the end of the next long hot ride. "Go ahead punk, make my day!"

4. This last one is hardly worth mentioning as it is so common that it barely rates as a controversy. However, it is a continual gnawing at the heart of the peloton. Everyone wants to know, inquiring minds want to know! It's the ever present question that has plagued the Firestone and Summit peloton now for years.

Coolio, it's time to come clean!

How much is Krispy Kreme actually paying you to stay in Pensacola? Come on Bobby, we'll still love you...kinda.

Well, there you have it. You are up to date and fully blogified!

Hey, heard back from Ken Tuttle...he broke his ankle showing his kid how to ride a skateboard. Dude. Says he'll be back shortly. Hey, wait a minute, he's a Clydesdale boy...Ken, better check that skateboard for any foul play!!!
Anyone seen Trish "The Kat" Kuhnell lately? Circle K misses drafting the helmet.
David "Twin Six" Murphy says no more fixed gear for him! I guess he's tired of dropping almost as many chains as Left Lane. We'll see tonight! And, I'll...

...see you out on the road,
Bob