The Three Amigos at it Again

The weather was absolutely beautiful yesterday afternoon as the Three Amigos headed out for a ride from Coolio's house. The pace was easy as right out of the gate we had to wait for Bobby because there was a lawn care guy blowing leaves. It seems that the Crusty Climbing Curmudgeon didn't want his bike to get any dust on it...go figure. We stopped by Firestone and Summit at 1:15pm but no one was there so we continued on.

We initially had a bit of trouble in deciding what route to take so we kind of putz around the neighborhoods of eastern Pensacola. We finally choose to head towards Ellison Park and then loop back around the upper Figure 8 for somewhere around 30 total miles. All we're agreeable so the pace quicken a bit.

Coolio was in one of his bantering moods as only the Masterbanter can be. If you've never ridden down the road listening to this mouth spouting, you don't know what you're missing...uh, kinda. It is a mixture of boasting, badmouthing, complaining, whining and a joke or two thrown in just for the fun of it. It used to annoy me, but now I just egg him on. Tim Fox did as well!

After a number of miles and a larger number of comments from the Mouth of the South, the Foxinator had just about his fill and threw down the gauntlet! He challenged the little climber to a race to the top of La Petit Alpe Duez! (For those of you who have no idea the location of this climb, it is the back entrance to Ellison off Scenic Highway.) It is a beast. Generally considered the steepest in Pensacola, topping out at a whopping 16% gradient...according to Coolio's computerized slopeometer thingy on his handlebars. Regardless, it is brutal for all but the strongest among us.

The two competitors had me go up first so I could judge the winner, thinking it may be close. Once at the summit, I turned around at the curb to see the two climbers already on the climb. It was neck and neck with the big Clydesdale boy tweaking his Trek carbon fiber standing on his big chainring like a huge V-12 Diesel engine. All the while the little 4 cylinder climber was seated whining out at a high rpm on his Lynskey titanium machine. (This was really fun to watch!!!)

Through the first two turns it was very close...anybody's guess as to the winner. At one point it appeared the little Crusty Curmudgeon had the better of the big Clydesdale whose powerful pistons each weighed more than the little climber soaking wet. Then here comes roaring back the big boy as if to say, "Stay thirsty, my friend." Uh...rather, "Not yet, my friend." It was back and forth, back and forth until the last turn...

That's when I saw the big behemoth himself put the hammer down in such a way as to make all big Clydesdales proud! You should have seen it...the fans were going wild! The Foxinator was pulling so hard on the bars that they were almost perpendicular to the pave'. (That's "asphalt" for those of you less fortunate than my bilingual self.) It was amazing! He was stompin' so hard on those pedals that I thought his crank arms would snap..."It was impressive!" (Expressed in my best Paul Sherwen accent.)

Across the line in victory came the Foxinator ripping the Polka Dot Jersey from the shoulders of the longtime King of the Mountains! Then the clock started, waiting for the little Climber to cross the line. Two seconds...four, five...nine, ten...twelve seconds later the Masterbanter comes across complaining of a missed shift halfway up the climb. (Who does he think he is...Andy Schleck?!) Great fun! I haven't laughed so hard on a ride in a long time.

The whole ride home Coolio was explaining the cause for the defeat. Everything from the climb was too short or not steep enough to a missed shift and the use of the wrong chamois creme! He even sprinted ahead on a freeway overpass trying to gain any victory on any climb. Like I said, we all laughed the whole way home...sorry so many of you missed the latest peloton antics! It really was the most fun this rider has had on a ride in many months.

No need to fret though, we're riding today and everyday this week! I can't guarantee the weather, but I can guarantee the antics! Come on out!!! Check the Rides Calendar at the bottom of this Bloganoid for all the details!

See you out on the road,
Bob