Last Saturday's ride on the Twisted Pine Forest Loop (TPFL) saw the peloton heading out under mostly cloudy skies and chilly conditions from Fish and Wildlife. Several of the COUCs, (pronounced: kooks), were missing, but we had so many first timers that the peloton was fairly large for this time of year. I think there were as many new faces as there were familiar ones. Great group of about 15 to 20 riders stayed together taking turns at the front all the way out to our first antics of the day on the Wymart Road/Interstate Circle sprint.
The peloton was all together as we made the left hander off Longleaf onto the sprint lane itself. Happy took control of the pace making as we ascended the two hills that always have a tendency to soften up the peloton. He kept the pace in the low 20s as we crested the second hurdle and the survivors started their strategy in earnest. One of the new riders, Skeleton Man (wearing a jersey that looks like a body with no skin on, just skeleton...hence the nickname), was now taking responsibility for pulling the group into the mid 20s.
As we rounded the big curve with about 2 kilometers to the line, Skeleton Man had the hammer down with Prenti on his wheel and the rest of the bunch chomping the bit! At 1.5k to go, Crusher takes a flyer but no one took the bait. (I'm using a fishing metaphor here.) He managed a gap of about 50 meters, but no more. When the group saw Crusher's gap diminishing they started salivating. (Ever ridden behind one of those guys salivating? It's pretty nasty...does the phrase "windshield wipers" mean anything to you?) This slobbering bunch reeled him in like a mullet on a line. (Uh...another fishing metaphor.)
Just as Crusher was back in the fold with just under 1k to the line, Happy launches a vicious attack up the left side! No one responded wondering if he would give up the ghost like Crusher. Happy was head down and charging hard when suddenly we had the "Pick Up Truck Incident!" (PUTI...more on this later.) Prenti goes around Skeleton Man and gets a bead on Happy. With less than 500 meters to go the two look set to have it out for the win. At 200 meters to line it is anybody's guess, when out of nowhere comes charging up the middle Vortex 2.0. (This year's version of the Vortex is a bit heavier, slower, not as confident in his pedals and still hurts when inhaling...frankly last year's version was much better. But, as is the case with any software, you're kinda stuck with the latest version...at least until you can upgrade.)
Back to live action:
With his head down and eyes blurred, Vortex 2.0 looks to catch Prenti's draft just enough to slingshot him around Happy and charge for the line in what would be his first sprint points in 2012. At less than 100 meters to go he did just that, crossing the line just meters ahead of the stronger riders. When asked later about his strategy, he explained, "A man's got to know his limitations." (Using his best Clint Eastwood impersonation.) " Uh, I knew I didn't match the fitness of the likes of Happy and Prenti, so I used their drafts to suck (vortex) me forward. Cycling is a thinking person's sport and I was thinking." Ah yes, a brief glimpse into the twisted, spinning mind of the Vortex 2.0.
After our well deserved stop at Starbucks for a hot latte, we started for home and the final antics of the day, the Maygarden Sprint. Crusher had the bit between the teeth as he pulled the paceline on Langley. This set up the right hander onto Spanish Trail with Blue Boy and Red Fred (sorry guys I can't remember all the new names with the new faces, so I'm using jersey colors here.) doing most of the work once we were onto the Maygarden itself. Coming up through the S curves the Prenti moves to the lead and then Skeleton Man. With 1k to the line this train was moving towards the station under a full head of steam!
Now at 500 meters to go it was Blue Boy charging hard to the line with Red Fred on his wheel followed by Vortex 2.0. The pace was in the low 30s as these 3 round the final curve with 200 meters left in today's proceedings. (I just love this kind of stuff!) At this point V2, (as compared to a V8 engine) was ready to pounce sitting third wheel. With 150 meters Red Fred winds up what turns out to be the perfect lead out for V2 who spins up to a high rpm while seated, (not trusting those pedals) and comes across the line just ahead of Blue and Red. Great ride!
All told, we had about 44 miles. If you missed it, don't pout or throw a pity party, we're riding again next Saturday! In fact, we're doing the infamous All The Way Around The Bay Loop! It is 75 to 80 miles of fantastic riding. It doesn't get much better than this route in northwest Florida! Come on out and enjoy a day in the saddle with the cast of unusual characters...you'll be glad you did!
See you out on the road,
Bob
PUTI: As Happy was charging hard for the line on Interstate Circle, he was out towards the double yellow line. The group, was spread across the lane from the shoulder to the double yellow line for this last couple hundred meters or so. Just then, a nincompoop driving a silver Ford FWD pick up truck blows past us doing 50 to 60 mph! That was bad enough, but this meathead misses Happy by less than 2 feet! What kind of a scumbag would do something like that?! (Normally I would never use this kind of language on the Blogazoidal, however, when someone is in violation of that many laws and puts a friend of mine in mortal danger...he's well deserving of a few nicknames!)
This individual passed with a double yellow line, was in excess of the posted speed limit and passed a cyclist closer than 3 feet. He just missed Happy! And for what? Because he was late or maybe wanted to make a statement to a bunch of Lycra wearing bike riders. No excuse is good enough if he had hit someone. None! But he doesn't care, he probably gave that little incident no more than a laugh as he related it to his buddies later on. There is no fear of punishment in his mind.
There is something terribly wrong in a society that punishes more severely a criminal for stealing money than for killing another human being who happens to be riding a bicycle.
Monday, February 27, 2012
Friday, February 24, 2012
Tomorrow Morning's Ride
The forecast for tomorrow at 8am is for partly cloudy skies with a 20% chance of rain and temperatures in the high 40s. Therefore, we are cleared for a 8am take-off on the Twisted Pine Forest Loop! The pace will be moderate with a stop at Starbucks about half way making this a typical winter ride with the cast of unusual characters. (COUCs)
Word of the street is that we will have several guests...uh, first timers, so be on your best behavior. You never know one of them may be a journalist or something.
See you in the morning at Fish and Wildlife and as always...
See you out on the road,
Bob
Word of the street is that we will have several guests...uh, first timers, so be on your best behavior. You never know one of them may be a journalist or something.
See you in the morning at Fish and Wildlife and as always...
See you out on the road,
Bob
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Man, This Weather!
The weather has not been conducive to hammerfests or any other fests, (except maybe sufferfests) lately. Rainy, windy, cold, damp or all of the above. Now, here comes the weekend and our Saturday morning rouleur. (Uh, that's French for those of you less fortunate than my multi-lingual self.) Forecast is for chilly temps and a breeze out of the north. The temps are a bummer but the wind direction is good for our almost group fave Twisted Pine Forest Loop. (Definitely conducive to stopping at Starbucks!) This 45 miler will start at 8am at Fish and Wildlife and head due west before turning north on Fairfield and parallel paves' to our stop to warm the innards and tell stories.
The return trip will be east and south back to Firestone and Summit, then to Fish and Wildlife. Great little loop and perfect for a chilly February morning. Come on out and enjoy the moderate pace...with a sprint or two thrown in for fun!
Note: If the temperature is forecast to be below 45 degrees at start time, we will delay the start one hour. There will be a post on this Blogazoidal as well as a mass email sent out to alert all to the delay. Stay tuned for all the latest.
*Less than Three weeks to TERAD!!!
See you out on the road,
Bob
The return trip will be east and south back to Firestone and Summit, then to Fish and Wildlife. Great little loop and perfect for a chilly February morning. Come on out and enjoy the moderate pace...with a sprint or two thrown in for fun!
Note: If the temperature is forecast to be below 45 degrees at start time, we will delay the start one hour. There will be a post on this Blogazoidal as well as a mass email sent out to alert all to the delay. Stay tuned for all the latest.
*Less than Three weeks to TERAD!!!
See you out on the road,
Bob
Friday, February 17, 2012
Tomorrow's Ride In The Hammock
Well, the weather forecast for tomorrow morning's ride in the Hammock looks promising...for ducks! Weather. com says there is a 90% chance that it will be raining. However, you never know it may miss us and we can still get out and take a swing in the Hammock...hope so! Regardless, check out our snazzy Inclement Weather Policy Page at the bottom of our Blogazoidal for how we will calculate whether we will be riding or not. For now, it's a go!
And where are we going, you may ask?! We're heading for one of our group's favorite routes; the Hurst Hammock Loop! Meet at 8am at Firestone and Summit for this 50 miler. This moderately paced ride has lots of hills, including the long one down into the Hammock, (and back up) as well as several flat sections. For those of you who may want a bit more, go for the Twisted Hammock option. This adds about 5 to 7 miles to the standard Hammock. But, always remember, it's easier to get into the Hammock than it is to get out! (Especially true for a swing in the Twisted Hammock...just ask Happy!)
And, speaking of "twisted", remember Left Lane in your prayers. (No, not because he's a twisted individual...well, then again...) Apparently, he recently twisted, torqued or blew out his knee on one of his infamous early morning Left Lane's Morning Madness Rides. He reports he will be laid up for a few days to a couple weeks. If I know Left Lane, this will drive him bananas! (Uh, twisted banana?! Hmmm...could be a new nickname.)
Hope the weather holds off for us. If not, I definitely won't...
See you out on the road,
Bob
And where are we going, you may ask?! We're heading for one of our group's favorite routes; the Hurst Hammock Loop! Meet at 8am at Firestone and Summit for this 50 miler. This moderately paced ride has lots of hills, including the long one down into the Hammock, (and back up) as well as several flat sections. For those of you who may want a bit more, go for the Twisted Hammock option. This adds about 5 to 7 miles to the standard Hammock. But, always remember, it's easier to get into the Hammock than it is to get out! (Especially true for a swing in the Twisted Hammock...just ask Happy!)
And, speaking of "twisted", remember Left Lane in your prayers. (No, not because he's a twisted individual...well, then again...) Apparently, he recently twisted, torqued or blew out his knee on one of his infamous early morning Left Lane's Morning Madness Rides. He reports he will be laid up for a few days to a couple weeks. If I know Left Lane, this will drive him bananas! (Uh, twisted banana?! Hmmm...could be a new nickname.)
Hope the weather holds off for us. If not, I definitely won't...
See you out on the road,
Bob
Sunday, February 12, 2012
The Purpose Of A Group Ride
Evidently, there is no small amount of confusion as to the purpose of several cyclists riding together in a group. Therefore, in an effort to assure everyone is on the same page, please accept the following as a quiet talk across the dinner table by the loving father who never told you, or perhaps consider it a nickles worth of free advice from the rich uncle that never gave you anything.
Remember, the first and foremost purpose or goal of a group ride is to find and implement as many ways to assure that as many riders as possible will not want to return for a second ride with the group of regulars. Now to ensure this goal it is important do several, if not all, of the following on each group ride:
Ten Rules When Riding In A Group
1. Go to the front and hammer until the weaker riders get dropped.
2. Assure Number 1 is implemented especially in a headwind and uphill sections.
3. If Numbers 1 and 2 don't work, then jump off the front and ride about 50 meters ahead of the group so the weaker riders have to pull themselves, therefore greatly diminishing their chances of staying with the group.
4. Do not wait at turns on the route for those who have been dropped. This will guarantee they get lost and not want to ride with the regulars again.
5. When asked by the ride leader to slow down and wait for dropped riders, speed up so that there is no chance of the weaker ones ever catching up.
6. If, by some miracle, the weaker riders ever do catch up to the group, run through yellow lights or even red ones assuring that anyone who may be following your wheel will be struck by the first vehicle through the intersection. (In extreme cases, even go left of the center line, against traffic, and/or in between vehicles. Surely this will stop that ornery neophyte from staying with the group.)
7. Always remember: this is a race, not a ride! (If only in your own mind.) And, therefore surely excuses any of the above seemingly bad behavior. It's not bad as long as you win! So, never, ever consider any other rider's welfare. To act like that is nothing more than a sign of your weakness.
8. Never go back and pull the dropped riders up to the group! This is tantamount to being a good friend and every true cyclist knows a good friend finishes last in this race. (ride)
9. Always remember there are other riders sweeping up the dropped riders. Never volunteer to do such a menial task. Do not let it enter your thinking that they may be hurting and need a stronger rider's draft to get home. Ha...don't they have any idea how hard it was dropping them!
10. It's a free country, so do as you like at the expense of as many riders as possible. Hey, isn't that what riding in a group is all about...ME?! And it is absolutely not true the old proverb:
Freedom is not the right to do what you want,
Rather, freedom is the power to do what you ought.
Oh, that's deep. Better ponder that one a while.
Well, I'm so glad we had this little talk, aren't you? I sure wouldn't want any misunderstandings on your next group ride. You may even want to print this up and hang it on your refrigerator so you can review it a few times each week. Better yet, have it laminated and mount it on your handlebars as a handy reference guide so you will know exactly what to do the next time out with a group. I guarantee if you follow these ten rules of riding in a group, then you will fulfill the purpose of group riding and be the most popular rider...ever!
See you out on the road,
Bob
Remember, the first and foremost purpose or goal of a group ride is to find and implement as many ways to assure that as many riders as possible will not want to return for a second ride with the group of regulars. Now to ensure this goal it is important do several, if not all, of the following on each group ride:
Ten Rules When Riding In A Group
1. Go to the front and hammer until the weaker riders get dropped.
2. Assure Number 1 is implemented especially in a headwind and uphill sections.
3. If Numbers 1 and 2 don't work, then jump off the front and ride about 50 meters ahead of the group so the weaker riders have to pull themselves, therefore greatly diminishing their chances of staying with the group.
4. Do not wait at turns on the route for those who have been dropped. This will guarantee they get lost and not want to ride with the regulars again.
5. When asked by the ride leader to slow down and wait for dropped riders, speed up so that there is no chance of the weaker ones ever catching up.
6. If, by some miracle, the weaker riders ever do catch up to the group, run through yellow lights or even red ones assuring that anyone who may be following your wheel will be struck by the first vehicle through the intersection. (In extreme cases, even go left of the center line, against traffic, and/or in between vehicles. Surely this will stop that ornery neophyte from staying with the group.)
7. Always remember: this is a race, not a ride! (If only in your own mind.) And, therefore surely excuses any of the above seemingly bad behavior. It's not bad as long as you win! So, never, ever consider any other rider's welfare. To act like that is nothing more than a sign of your weakness.
8. Never go back and pull the dropped riders up to the group! This is tantamount to being a good friend and every true cyclist knows a good friend finishes last in this race. (ride)
9. Always remember there are other riders sweeping up the dropped riders. Never volunteer to do such a menial task. Do not let it enter your thinking that they may be hurting and need a stronger rider's draft to get home. Ha...don't they have any idea how hard it was dropping them!
10. It's a free country, so do as you like at the expense of as many riders as possible. Hey, isn't that what riding in a group is all about...ME?! And it is absolutely not true the old proverb:
Freedom is not the right to do what you want,
Rather, freedom is the power to do what you ought.
Oh, that's deep. Better ponder that one a while.
Well, I'm so glad we had this little talk, aren't you? I sure wouldn't want any misunderstandings on your next group ride. You may even want to print this up and hang it on your refrigerator so you can review it a few times each week. Better yet, have it laminated and mount it on your handlebars as a handy reference guide so you will know exactly what to do the next time out with a group. I guarantee if you follow these ten rules of riding in a group, then you will fulfill the purpose of group riding and be the most popular rider...ever!
See you out on the road,
Bob
Friday, February 10, 2012
Saturday's Ride Forecast: Groovilicious!
I was just topping out on my last climb of my Wednesday hill workout when I saw a cyclist headed the opposite direction. As we neared each other I recognized the gangly stature as the one and only Cody Tail Brooke. We circled back around and after I returned from anaroebiaville, we had a nice conversation. I hadn't seen Cody for any length of time since Roger's Ride across Florida last October. He's good friends with a couple of my kiddos and a really great guy. We conversed about the upcoming season and all the good karma amongst cyclists these days in our area. Both of us expressed how much we are looking forward to the time change and the group rides coming just around the calendaric corner. (new word, means: turn of the calendar. It's actually a Slavic word having to do with; "watch out".)
Anyway, just as we were parting ways, he noticed my machine. I was riding my bike I built mostly from parts I had laying around in boxes, I explained. I even had an extra set of the old Rolf wheels and a Ultegra crankset from back in the '90s. Cody liked the paint job, saying something about being "luscious", then asked about the name rojocci. (Pronounced: roe jockey. Get it?) I told him the name was an entire fabrication of some initials and my favorite color. (Rojo for those of you less fortunate than my bilingual self is Spanish for the color Red. Oh yeah baby...Red! Great color.) And this steed was painted a deep metallic red that is almost black. Sweet! Uh, luscious! In the bright sunlight it looks like you can see down into it. As we turned to leave, he smiled, "Groovy!"
On my way home I was just soft pedaling trying to ease the legs back into reality. It also gave me time to ponder this sweet ride I call the rojocci. Yeah, it's heavier than my titanium Lynskey, but it is very durable and I actually like that it weighs more. I train on the heavier machine and race and do group rides on the lighter one. Oooo...a method to his madness! Plus, the cheaper rojocci gets trashed while the Lynskey stays fresh. (And hopefully lasts longer, that thing was expensive!) I laughed out loud as I thought about "groovy" and "luscious". Then it came to me like a beam of dull hazy light...this bike was Groovilicious! (I think I'm in love!)
The more I thought about this new word, the more applications I came up with for it's use. (I do some of my best thinking on the bike. Not that this was my best, mind you.) You know, groovy meaning cool or awesome and luscious meaning full of lush or oh yeah baby! Like, "Hey man, that bike is totally groovilicious!" Or, "Dude, where did you get those groovilicious sunnies?" I had a plate of spaghetti the other night that was definitely groovilicious. (And the lovely Mrs Graves undoubtedly qualifies for the groovilicious moniker.) It's a new way of communicating...more expressive, more defined! Therefore, it has been decided...
Tomorrow's ride on the Lillian Loop is entitled: Groovilicious!
Don't miss one mile of it! We start at 8am leaving from Fish and Wildlife heading west into a bit of a headwind according to the weather forecast. Speaking of, looks like low 50s at start time and we'll finish up with temps in the upper 50s with sunshine aplenty! Should be a great ride and I hope to see everyone there! However, if you can't make it, try the WFW Sunday morning "Around the Bay" ride leaving at 8am from Bagelheads on Gregory. Better yet, ride both!
"Hey man, try those poppyseed bagels, they are unbestinkingleivably groovilicious."
See you out on the road,
Bob
Anyway, just as we were parting ways, he noticed my machine. I was riding my bike I built mostly from parts I had laying around in boxes, I explained. I even had an extra set of the old Rolf wheels and a Ultegra crankset from back in the '90s. Cody liked the paint job, saying something about being "luscious", then asked about the name rojocci. (Pronounced: roe jockey. Get it?) I told him the name was an entire fabrication of some initials and my favorite color. (Rojo for those of you less fortunate than my bilingual self is Spanish for the color Red. Oh yeah baby...Red! Great color.) And this steed was painted a deep metallic red that is almost black. Sweet! Uh, luscious! In the bright sunlight it looks like you can see down into it. As we turned to leave, he smiled, "Groovy!"
On my way home I was just soft pedaling trying to ease the legs back into reality. It also gave me time to ponder this sweet ride I call the rojocci. Yeah, it's heavier than my titanium Lynskey, but it is very durable and I actually like that it weighs more. I train on the heavier machine and race and do group rides on the lighter one. Oooo...a method to his madness! Plus, the cheaper rojocci gets trashed while the Lynskey stays fresh. (And hopefully lasts longer, that thing was expensive!) I laughed out loud as I thought about "groovy" and "luscious". Then it came to me like a beam of dull hazy light...this bike was Groovilicious! (I think I'm in love!)
The more I thought about this new word, the more applications I came up with for it's use. (I do some of my best thinking on the bike. Not that this was my best, mind you.) You know, groovy meaning cool or awesome and luscious meaning full of lush or oh yeah baby! Like, "Hey man, that bike is totally groovilicious!" Or, "Dude, where did you get those groovilicious sunnies?" I had a plate of spaghetti the other night that was definitely groovilicious. (And the lovely Mrs Graves undoubtedly qualifies for the groovilicious moniker.) It's a new way of communicating...more expressive, more defined! Therefore, it has been decided...
Tomorrow's ride on the Lillian Loop is entitled: Groovilicious!
Don't miss one mile of it! We start at 8am leaving from Fish and Wildlife heading west into a bit of a headwind according to the weather forecast. Speaking of, looks like low 50s at start time and we'll finish up with temps in the upper 50s with sunshine aplenty! Should be a great ride and I hope to see everyone there! However, if you can't make it, try the WFW Sunday morning "Around the Bay" ride leaving at 8am from Bagelheads on Gregory. Better yet, ride both!
"Hey man, try those poppyseed bagels, they are unbestinkingleivably groovilicious."
See you out on the road,
Bob
Monday, February 6, 2012
Where Is That Bad Mayonnaise?
We had a nice size group on Saturday for some nasty hills on a seasonably warm morning. Most of the COUCs were out for the romp in Verticalville including the conspicuous Coolio and Crusher. These names should have some humorous meaning to many when the road starts to rise. For some background on the antics and the now infamous duel check out the blogification on Tuesday, 12.21.10 entitled, "The Three Amigos At It Again!" Well, suffice it to say, the fans were going wild in great anticipation as the bunch mounted up and headed for the hills. But, where was that Bad Mayonnaise?
The pace was civil as everyone cruised along the flats in double paceline formation on our way to the bottom of the first climb of the day and the site of the infamous matchup, La Petite Alpe Duez. We even had a couple of new faces along, two young Jedis named Brett and Dave. As the bunch neared the beast itself, the climbers were getting a bit twitching and ready to pounce. Just then, the big Clydesdale Vortex jumped out and was first on the Little Alpe. (He was also last off it! Hey man, did I mention he's a Clydesdale?!) About a quarter of the way up Crusher blows by him like he's late for lunch. He's out of the saddle stompin' on a huge gear hoping he doesn't see Coolio until after the line at the top. Well, he wasn't disappointed. Coolio was no where to be found on the climb. He must have made a wrong turn or got dropped on the flats or something.
Regardless, we never saw the little climber again the whole ride...and this was a hill route! Who does he think he is, the Bad Mayonnaise?! Man, yet another winter rider missing in action. Where is that Bad Mayonnaise anyway? Anybody seen him? We had some of his usual entourage on the ride, but no BM! And speaking of the other BM, where is the Big Motor? Cooler temps don't seem to affect him like some of the others. In fact, last ride he was on it was in the low 50s and he was riding in a short sleeve jersey. Beastly bodacious Brit!
Well, with no real antics on the hills, the boys turned their efforts to the preparation for the final sprint. This turned out to be one of the better ones in the last several weeks. The charge down Langley saw Ray Gun (who evidently had it set on stun), with the bit between the teeth. Although he had the hammer down, couldn't seem to break the elastic. It appeared he had read the book on Left Lane, who always appears game for a breakaway, solo or otherwise. However, today, the dogs were barking and would not allow the fox any room even though he cranked it into the high 20s mph. (Was that the Bad Mayonnaise on Langley behind that bush?)
As we turned onto Spanish Trail, Happy and Retro were setting a pace continuing to soften up the peloton aka Ray's Stun Gun. Once through the right hander and onto the Maygarden itself, things started to heat up a bit. Coming up through the first set of "S" curves Retro, who was second wheel, pulls over in an apparent move to head to the back. However, Left Lane would have none of it shifting over on his wheel and the rest followed suit. The Prenti accelerated up the right hand side with Happy grabbing his wheel. No sooner had the pace settled, then Happy pulls through and again Retro slides in behind. Ah, the plot thickens!
As the diminishing group comes around the curve and onto the straight with 1 kilometer to go, the pace slows a bit. Just then the Vortex launches one of his patented attacks. (He actually has a US patent on this move, cost him several thousand dollars to obtain it.) Although, he stomped on it, it was short lived. The big boy just isn't back to his pre-crash form yet. (I just hate this kind of stuff!) However, his patent was paying royalties and he is hoping to cash in later.
Retro was game and pulled the surviving few up to the Clydesdale just as they entered the last "S" curves. Now with 500 meters to go Nestordamus accelerates up to lead out speed. He pulls Retro up to the 200 meter line and launches the missile into orbit in classic style. Retro crosses the line uncontested with Nestordamus second.
Congrats to Dave "Retro" Henderson for the win and bragging rights for the week! Anybody seen that Bad Mayonnaise yet? Maybe he needs a new nickname. How about Waldo?
See you out on the road,
Bob
The pace was civil as everyone cruised along the flats in double paceline formation on our way to the bottom of the first climb of the day and the site of the infamous matchup, La Petite Alpe Duez. We even had a couple of new faces along, two young Jedis named Brett and Dave. As the bunch neared the beast itself, the climbers were getting a bit twitching and ready to pounce. Just then, the big Clydesdale Vortex jumped out and was first on the Little Alpe. (He was also last off it! Hey man, did I mention he's a Clydesdale?!) About a quarter of the way up Crusher blows by him like he's late for lunch. He's out of the saddle stompin' on a huge gear hoping he doesn't see Coolio until after the line at the top. Well, he wasn't disappointed. Coolio was no where to be found on the climb. He must have made a wrong turn or got dropped on the flats or something.
Regardless, we never saw the little climber again the whole ride...and this was a hill route! Who does he think he is, the Bad Mayonnaise?! Man, yet another winter rider missing in action. Where is that Bad Mayonnaise anyway? Anybody seen him? We had some of his usual entourage on the ride, but no BM! And speaking of the other BM, where is the Big Motor? Cooler temps don't seem to affect him like some of the others. In fact, last ride he was on it was in the low 50s and he was riding in a short sleeve jersey. Beastly bodacious Brit!
Well, with no real antics on the hills, the boys turned their efforts to the preparation for the final sprint. This turned out to be one of the better ones in the last several weeks. The charge down Langley saw Ray Gun (who evidently had it set on stun), with the bit between the teeth. Although he had the hammer down, couldn't seem to break the elastic. It appeared he had read the book on Left Lane, who always appears game for a breakaway, solo or otherwise. However, today, the dogs were barking and would not allow the fox any room even though he cranked it into the high 20s mph. (Was that the Bad Mayonnaise on Langley behind that bush?)
As we turned onto Spanish Trail, Happy and Retro were setting a pace continuing to soften up the peloton aka Ray's Stun Gun. Once through the right hander and onto the Maygarden itself, things started to heat up a bit. Coming up through the first set of "S" curves Retro, who was second wheel, pulls over in an apparent move to head to the back. However, Left Lane would have none of it shifting over on his wheel and the rest followed suit. The Prenti accelerated up the right hand side with Happy grabbing his wheel. No sooner had the pace settled, then Happy pulls through and again Retro slides in behind. Ah, the plot thickens!
As the diminishing group comes around the curve and onto the straight with 1 kilometer to go, the pace slows a bit. Just then the Vortex launches one of his patented attacks. (He actually has a US patent on this move, cost him several thousand dollars to obtain it.) Although, he stomped on it, it was short lived. The big boy just isn't back to his pre-crash form yet. (I just hate this kind of stuff!) However, his patent was paying royalties and he is hoping to cash in later.
Retro was game and pulled the surviving few up to the Clydesdale just as they entered the last "S" curves. Now with 500 meters to go Nestordamus accelerates up to lead out speed. He pulls Retro up to the 200 meter line and launches the missile into orbit in classic style. Retro crosses the line uncontested with Nestordamus second.
Congrats to Dave "Retro" Henderson for the win and bragging rights for the week! Anybody seen that Bad Mayonnaise yet? Maybe he needs a new nickname. How about Waldo?
See you out on the road,
Bob
Friday, February 3, 2012
Saturday's Ride: Start Location CHANGE!
Saturday morning's ride looks to be fantastico! (Uh, that's Spanish for those of you...) Anyway, weather will be sunny and warm and our new Twisted/Modified/Revised UWF/Screaming Hills Loop is bound to become a group fave. The pace for this 40 miler will be slow on the uphills, fast on the downhills (go figure) and moderate on the flats. We will be clipping in at 8am!
Just one small change:
**We will start at MAYGARDEN and Summit instead of F&S. **
Please make a note of this important change. For those of you who do not know where Maygarden is, it is just 1/4 mile east of Firestone on Summit.
See you in the morning for what looks to be a great ride in the hills! Don't worry if you're not a climber, we will have several regrouping spots along the route. Just sit back and relax as you take in the view with the Clydesdale boys.
See you out on the road,
Bob
Just one small change:
**We will start at MAYGARDEN and Summit instead of F&S. **
Please make a note of this important change. For those of you who do not know where Maygarden is, it is just 1/4 mile east of Firestone on Summit.
See you in the morning for what looks to be a great ride in the hills! Don't worry if you're not a climber, we will have several regrouping spots along the route. Just sit back and relax as you take in the view with the Clydesdale boys.
See you out on the road,
Bob
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