Hey cycling fans, tomorrow the Firestone and Summit peloton is heading back to the site of the season ending crash for Crusher and the Vortex. Yeppers, we are riding back out to Fort Pickens! For those of you along strictly for the celebrity factor, don't worry, we will be stopping at the crash location for photos and a moment of silence. We will even have a time for gathering artifacts that still can be found along the roadside. Items like Crushers handlebar endcap or Vortex's left sunglass lens. (this is the one that looks like someone took a belt sander to it). It is even rumored that a piece of his helmet was found 50 yards from the crash site by a jogger last week.
No doubt these items are worth the trouble to search out. If John Lennon's eye glasses sold at auction for more than $100,000.00, what must these items found at the infamous Crusher/Vortex crash site be worth?! In fact, it was reported two weeks ago that a prowler was arrested outside of Crusher's home late at night. When questioned by local law enforcement officers, the suspect confessed to dumpster diving in Crusher's trash can looking for valuable crash artifacts that Crusher may have thrown out. Police found a torn piece of bar tape in a plastic bag in his back pocket. (the bar tape matched that on Crusher's bicycle) It has a reported auction value in excess of $10,000.00! The suspect is behind bars awaiting arraignment.
Police refused to release the identity of the suspect, but gave a description as a small framed white male in his 60s with a crusty curmudgeon type of disposition and was found with much donut glaze residue upon his face, hands, jacket and shoes, as well as all over Crusher's trash can. Upon results back from the forensics lab, it was determined that the residue was in fact unique to Krispy Kreme donuts and the suspect has been seen frequenting the local Krispy Kreme store by their security cameras. He is being held without bond.
It was also reported that the lens from the Vortex's smashed helmet light was seen on the Antique's Roadshow on PBS last month. The appraisers, Mr. Clif Hanger and Mr. Miles Rider, both of the renown antiquities gallery, Adventurous Sports Antiques in New York City, claim they have never seen such a rare piece in such terrible condition. Yet, because of the celebrity value, estimate it would sell at auction for between $25,000.00 to $30,000.00. The owner, who was in disguise, seemed delighted with the appraisal. When asked his name and how he acquired the piece, he refused to give any information and left the show promptly. Upon review of the video tapes by investigators, it was noticed that the owner had a strange glazing on the front of his disguise and on his hands. This also accounted for the apparent sheen that the appraisers had discovered all over the artifact. The video also revealed the owner was wearing lifts to make himself look several inches taller.
In light of these latest revelations, the peloton will make every effort to spend at least one hour at the site so there is plenty of time to search for these valuable artifacts and to take photos of this historic site. (uh...crash site not the Fort). Therefore, if you are interested, (and I'm sure you are), please be prepared to ride at 7am at Fish and Wildlife tomorrow morning! Don't be late as I'm sure this with be the most well attended ride of the year...with the exception perhaps of the Fenner Century in Milton.
Don't forget to bring an extra $3 to get in the National Park. (Word on the street is that Congress plans on making the crash site a National Historic Monument and thereby raising the entrance fee to $5. But for now it is still $3.) We will also have a rest stop to fill the bottles and tell Crusher/Vortex stories. Now how fun is that?!
If the 45 mile route is a bit too long for you, then meet the group at the south end of 3 Mile Bridge as they cruise through Gulf Breeze. This will make the route...uh, 6 miles shorter. Should be a fantastic day for riding, photos and scavenging. Hope to see everyone out!!!
And, hope to soon...
See you out on the road,
Bob
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