It's Unanimous!

Alright, 2012 is just about over and we have two great rides scheduled to finish out the year! We sent out a short questionnaire to the so-called leadership to get a general opinion as to how to close out the year in cycling. It was unambitious...uh, I mean unanimous! Therefore, we're heading Around The Bay and lookie here...Around The Sound! Well, at least Soundside. Oh yeah baby, we're closing it out in style!!!

All the details are on the Rides Calendar at the bottom of this Blogazoidal. But, in case you are too tired, (being the end of the year and all), then here you go:

Tomorrow at 7:30am at Maygarden and Summit. We're doing the all time group fave; Around The Bay! The pace will be mostly moderate for this 65 miler. There is a shorter option of 45 miles for those who want a shorter version.

Monday, NEW YEAR'S EVE meet at Fish and Wildlife at 8am for the Soundside Loop or Around The Sound Loop depending on how unambitious you're feeling! The shorter route is about 40 and the longer loop is 60 miles. The pace will be moderate.

And, as if that wasn't enough miles, join the Bad Mayonnaise for his Sunday afternoon easy spin in the park...Bayview Park that is and it's at 3pm. Come on somebody! A great ride to keep those legs loose after the Saturday 65 miler or just before Monday's 60 miler!

Oh yeah, that's 150 miles over the last three days of 2012! Who says we can't close out a year right?!

See you out on the road,
Bob

Chilly Clime Brings Change to Start Time!

For those of you from north of the Mason-Dixon Line, please ignore the following change. For those of you south of the Mason-Dixon Line, please pay close attention. (For those of you who have no idea where the Mason-Dixon Line is...there's still hope.)

Tomorrow morning the temperature is going to be around 40 degrees at 8am. To start our ride at this temp would be in violation of our Cold/Inclement Weather Policy. (I have been reminded of this fact several times since late Wednesday evening by those who evidently were raised south of the Mason-Dixon Line.

Therefore, we have changed the start time for tomorrow morning's ride to 9am. 

This is the only change to this ride.

We will still meet at Maygarden and Summit and still be doing the Pine Forest Loop.

And, STILL be making a Starbucks stop! (might be the best part of the chilly ride)

See you (bundled up) out on the road,
Bob

Thanks Gents!

Last Saturday's loop around the bay was a fantastic ride! It's no wonder it's at the top of the All Time Favorite Rides list. As you may or may not remember, it started out quite soggy as we had to delay the start time one hour because of rain. It's interesting to note that this one hour delay moved the start time back to it's originally scheduled time. A certain rider, (we don't name names) had insisted the start time be moved forward one hour because of the length of the route. In his defense, this (blogifier) rider had agreed with the change as well as several other riders polled. However, the powers that be, to be sure, had another time in mind. Therefore, after much searching of the weather map and receiving back suggestions from the cycling constituency, the new time was announced and this rider headed back to the warm quilted bed with it's other occupant still residing.

Alas, my cycling chums, sleep was not to be had as the wretched smart phone (misnomer), kept declaring that it had received yet another text. By the time all textseseses (plural for text, although my Spell Check has it underlined with one of those serpentine red lines), were answered, it was nearly time to don the costume and head out upon the roadways for another antic filled jaunt with the COUCs, (cast of unusual characters). And a large group it was! Great ride with sunshine aplenty and dry roads after the first two hours of back and face spackle. For those of you unfamiliar with this common cycling term, it has to do with the rooster tail that proceeds from the rear tire of a bike as it moves through water on the surface of the road.

There needs to be an acknowledgement of the general cooperative spirit of the peloton as well. Several hammerheads were very receptive to the speed limit. This created a most enjoyable ride for the entire group. The stronger ones amongst us took longer pulls while those not having as good a day, stayed in the back or took shorter pulls. I was particularly impressed with the likes of Happy, Rabbit Brett, Nestordamos and Big Jim, who could have at any moment dropped the hammer. Instead, they chose to keep the pace in the moderate range, (18-21mph) and therefore enabled the peloton to stay together. This produced no small amount of accolades and will surely classify this Around The Bay ride as one of the most enjoyable ever! Thanks Gents! (This now concludes the Acknowledge Segment of this Post)

Now, let's see, whats on tap for tomorrow? Ah yes, one of the Top Five! 

We're heading out on the Innerarity Loop leaving from the Fish and Wildlife Launch Pad at 8am!!! 
This time we're including Bauer Road on the way out and Navy Point on the way back. Not sure about the Fried Twinkie Sprint though as there no longer is Hostess to produce them. (Rumor has it that Left Lane bought several dozen cases from WalMart when heard heard Hostess was going out of business. Maybe he'll have a few left over for the award.)

See you in the morning for another buffoonery filled ride with the peloton known only as The COUCs. (It's a term of endearment for those who know them. To all others it's Firestone and Summit.) Until then, I'll...

See you out on the road,
Bob 

Around The Bay Clarification UPDATE!

Alright cycling fans and those of you who actually love to ride; tomorrow morning is our group's all time favorite route. (According to the latest survey of those who actually ride.) In fact, it was number one in a long list of most beloved Saturday morning loops. Here's the Top Five: (Margin of Error is +/-22%)

1. Around The Bay...............................................37%
2. Twisted Hammock............................................24%
3. Lillian Loop......................................................23%
4. Innerarity Point.................................................17%
5. Around The Sound (East Bay)..........................16%

I know, those of you who are more "anal" than the common rider will immediately calculate that this total is more than 100%. In fact, there were still 5 other loops named in the survey totally 138%. (Did I mention this was not a scientific polling of the riders? Besides, please notice above the Margin of Error.) Anyway, there you have it whether you like the results or not. Now on to our group's all time fave!

Evidently, from the number of emails, texts and phone call I have received, there is a bit of confusion as to the start time tomorrow morning. Well, I'm here to clear that up:

8AM 

AT

MAYGARDEN

&

SUMMIT!

Any questions? No? Well, I'm glad we had this little talk, aren't you? Good.

Now if you have any other questions, please take a quick peek at the Rides Calendar below before shooting off that email, text or pick up your smart phone, okay?! (Let's try to remember it's called a "smart" phone for a reason.) Thank you for your kind cooperation. See you in the morning for a fantastic ride! Weather forecast looks almost perfect with temps in the low 60s at start to almost 70 when we're back in Pensacola! 

See you out on the road,

Bob  

Happy's Happy!

Another fantastic ride this past Saturday as the peloton headed out to Lillian, Alabama for one of our group's favorite routes. The weather was just about perfect, except for a bit of a headwind on the way back into Pensacola. But the sunshine aplenty more than made up for that. On the way out the group pretty much stayed together with one minor exception at the Blue Angel crossing. (Meaning where we crossed Blue Angel Parkway, not where they flew over the peloton...just thought to clarify that less the emails start again.) We were waiting at the red light at Blue Angel Parkway, when out of nowhere the Left Lane decides to cruise on across. In reality, the left turn signal was green and no approaching traffic so he did what all Left Lanes do, get a jump on the peloton before the light turns green for the traffic going straight. And in his defense, (I know, this is something I never do), the Young Jedis were not starting slowly after a stop. In fact, it usually went from standing still to 23 in about 400 to 500 meters. So, he was probably thinking, "This will give me a chance to get up to speed before those young whippersnappers drop me again and I have to chase hard to latch back on." (It's a dangerous place to be inside the mind of the Left Lane, but there you have it.)

Regardless, we caught up to him and a couple of other scofflaws by the time we reached the right hander at  Hwy. 98.  We cruised on to Lillian together and the obligatory rest stop. After filling the tanks, it was off to the countryside and beautiful roads of south Baldwin County. A group of Young Jedis got a gap on the peloton and that was the last we saw of them until the second rest stop back in Florida. The average age of the Young Jedis is probably 25 to 30 years old. However, the group's average age this time was a bit skewed as none other than Harland "Happy" Williams was mixing it up with these mavericks.

I mean, what on earth has gotten into Happy lately? A couple weeks ago he's throwing it down for a Fried Twinkie win. He'll go to the front and crank it up several mph. There's been several Happy sightings at all hours of the day and night. (Leads one to believe he is on the infamous Double Secret Workout Regiment) The man is a 60 something beast! And with the absence of the other 60 something rider, he appears to have taken up the gauntlet for those who were born just after WWII. (Otherwise known as Baby Boomers) Oh yeah, he's a boomer baby. I mean the man is a beast! He definitely has his Happy on! In fact, after the second rest stop, he hangs with the under 30s group (age not speed) all the way back to the finish line...uh, I mean the end of the ride. The rest of us show up and he's there looking fresh as a daisy. When asked how long he had been waiting, he replied, "Oh, I don't know, about 6 minutes."

Now for those naysayers among us, I did some quick calculations. The peloton was cruising into that headwind at an average of just over 18mph. The distance from the rest stop to the uh...finish line was just under 15 miles. Therefore, in less than 15 miles, Happy gapped a peloton traveling at 18mph. Hmmm...if my calculations are correct, that's just under 30 seconds (24) per mile faster for each mile. At 18mph the peloton is covering a mile in a little less than 3 minutes 30 seconds. He's doing it in 3 minutes 6 seconds. And he's a member of AARP! Oh yeah, he's got his Happy on! I would say, Happy's Happy!

I wonder what the boy will do when the route is longer like this Saturday's Around The Bay Loop?! We'll be crossing the Gargoyle Point Bridge and he'll be at home halfway through that box of a dozen Krispy Kremes!  (Hopefully he'll stay in the pack and help us less fortunate AARP members!) Really looking forward to the help! Thanks in advance Happy! (See how I put that pressure on him? Don't tell him, maybe he won't notice.) Weather looks grand and the peloton is more than game. See you then! And...

See you out on the road,
Bob

Weather Looks Fine!

The weather forecast for this Saturday's Lillian Loop looks almost perfect. Temps at start time hovering around 60 and rising to almost 70 by the time we're heading back into town! Plenty of sunshine as well! This is one of our group's all time favorite routes. The roads in Baldwin County are great bike riding roads. And after this week's stressful Trial Of The Decade, I would guess more than one rider in the peloton is ready for a bit of stress burning physical exercise. So, let's go for a ride!

Here's the details just in case you don't want to scroll down to the Rides Calendar:

When:  Saturday at 8am
Where:  Fish and Wildlife
What:  Lillian Loop
Why:  Because it's there
How:  On your machine
Are you sure:  Oh yeah baby...unless someone wants to change the route!

See you then and as always, I'll...

See you out on the road,
Bob

The Verdict Is In!

There we were, not wanting to miss any detail in this twisted case that has rocked the cycling community, standing in the lobby outside the courtroom. The courtroom now silent, except for the snores of Judge Vortex, who with feet upon the bench was taking a nap. Several groups gathered around discussing what they thought would be the verdict returned. Jackie Childs was standing towards the front doors with his most recent acquisition, a Swedish model named Helga. Both were posing for the ever present Paparazzi. The faint smell of coffee wafted through the heavy, thick air. I sipped mine slowly, ever so slowly. Glancing around the room, my eyes feel upon Coolio who had a box of Krispy Kremes. I made my way over to him.

"Where did you get those?", I asked with a smile. Through his chewing he explained that there was a table set up out front of the Courthouse. There was a handwritten sign hanging from the front of the table, it read;  "Bad Mayonnaise Legal Defense Fund". We both laughed. Then I asked him for a glazed. He replied, "I don't have one to spare. But they're selling them out front." I nodded and made my way over to the Mayo's entourage intending on asking him what was with the table out front. Just then, the doors to the courtroom swung open. It was Bailiff Huffin Puffin, (and he was). He cries out, "Jury has reached a verdict!"

There was much pushing and shoving as we made our way back into the courtroom and to the closest vacant seats. Judge Vortex, sporting a new gavel, seemed a bit drowsy but in good spirits. Once all were seated, the room fell silent as the Jury filed in slowly, ever so...well, you get the idea. Once again, the last one in was the Jury Foreman, that devious Left Lane who seemed to have an extra amount of swagger in his step. The Bad Mayo and his legal counsel sat at their table. The defendant smiled at several among the Jury of his peeps, I mean peers. He then leans over to Mr. Childs and whispers, "Don't worry, we got this one in the bag. I cut a deal."

Mr. Childs replies in a loud whisper, "Who cut a deal? You cut a deal? Who told you to cut a deal? I didn't tell you to cut a deal! Why did you cut a deal? What deal? Oh no, not again!"

Just then the gavel smacks upon it's base and His Honorable Vortexinest asks, "Jury, have you reached a verdict?" The Left Lane takes a long swig of his lukewarm Guinness Stout, (apparently no refrigerator in the Deliberation Room), and comes to his feet. "We have your Honor!" The Judge turns his gaze upon the defendant who was grinning from ear to ear looking like a Cheshire Cat. The Lawman appeared concerned. Jackie had his head in his hands.Turning back to the Jury Foreman, the Judge barks, "What say you?"

Fumbling for his glasses and clearing his throat, the Left Lane appeared to be stalling. Once the spectacles were mounted upon his beak, he began to read the verdict with a most serious tone, yet with a hint of delight.
Because of the gravity of the charges, here is exactly what was read by the Jury Foreman:

"Guilty as Charged!!!  I was there, I seen it, I heard it .....SHOCKING!!!!" 

Someone in the back yelled, "Light the burners!"  This was followed by a huge gasp from the Mayo entourage. Judge Vortex rapped his gavel twice. "Order! Order in this courtroom!"

Then turning to the Foreman he said, "Proceed." Left Lane, once again clears his throat and glances at the Bad Mayo.

"On the matter of the charges...."

"Code 1) The Route is the Route... This axiom of the code prognosticated by none other than the rider known as  Johnny Bugno otherwise known as Johnny Bugno has rarely been so blatantly flaunted... with the route subject to change usually only by ominous weather conditions along the originally scheduled route ....obviously on such a beautiful morning such conditions were not at issue....GUILTY!!"

Another heckler cries, "To the gallows!" The gavel smacks down accompanied by a stern look from the Judge. "Order! Continue Foreman."

Code 7) Being Self Sufficient.....Not even worth discussing "See if my pass is in my pack...NOT??....Well than get some cash out of my pack.....NOT!!!  If not for the magnanimity of the Danimal The Bad Mayo would have been sent packing back to P'Cola.....GUILTY!!

"Hang him high!" comes from yet another rascal. "One more outcry", explains Judge Vortex, "and the offender will be held in Contempt of this Court!" Glancing back at Left Lane, he says, "Continue."

"Code 8) No Whining .....Now we have always thought of David as a Challenging Athlete not a Challenged Athlete!!!...This guy does more stuff than we would even think of trying....To hear him try to use the Poor Disabled Me on the Park Ranger was ...we think a break of the Code against Whining......GUILTY!!"

"We find not other charges that are applicable at this time ....but maybe we should bring up previous Code violations of Code 9) Keep your machine repaired....I guess that may be piling on though!!"

"May I recommend a sentence your Honor?", asks the Foreman. "Why not?!", replies Judge Vortex.

"Proposed Sentence:  I guess we can't Flog the BM like in a Pirate Movie therefore I propose Tether no less than 3 Clydesdales to the Mayo Cycle at the approaches of the Bob Sikes or Barrancas Bridge with the Bad Mayo to Pull to The Top....This will reinstate BM to All Rights And Privileges of the Peloton (ARRAP)."

The courtroom is a strange mix of silent shock and quiet jubilation. I noticed that Crusher, the Executioner has turned the bike chain into a sort of hoola hoop and was doing what appeared to be a happy dance. He definitely had his Happy on! The Court Reporter, Nestordamus was shredding papers and the Bailiff seemed out of breath.  The defendant's expression had turned from a confident smile to one of disbelief and dismay. It was all quite the scene.

The Judge, turning to the Jury, thanks them for their service in this, a most difficult case. He explains that before he retires them, that he has but one final question. Tapping his gavel twice, he demands quiet in the courtroom. Then comes the final question. "Seeing as how this is a criminal trial, the Jury must be unanimous in it's decision. Mr. Foreman, were you the Jury unanimous in the verdict of Guilty?" Left Lane once again rises to his feet, although this time much slower. He pauses, then swallows. Shaking his head slowly, ever so slowly, he quietly answers, "No, your Honor, we are not unanimous." A corporate "Whoof!" resounds throughout the courtroom. Everyone is in shock!

Judge Vortex peers across at the Bad Mayo with a glare as if to say, "You cut a deal, didn't you?!" But, instead he breaks into a smile and declares, This case is dismissed! Mr. Mayo you are free to go!"

And with that, Kool and the Gang started playing their hit, "Celebrate Good Times". Mayo and his entourage were dancing in the front of the Courtroom. Jackie and Helga were doing the Macarena. Several of the Jury jumped the rail and congratulated the Bad Mayo. He appeared to be handing them small white envelopes. He gave Left Lane a dozen bananas and a box of Fig Newtons. Josh "Danger" Sharpe, himself a member of the Jury was wagging his head exclaiming, "I can't believe that guy!"

The Judge, stripped off his robe and wig revealing a full cycling kit underneath. He yells, "Let's go for a ride!" All follow out to join the celebration in the streets and mount the machines for what became Mayo's Victory Parade. The fans were going wild! Although, back in the courtroom the Code sat silent. You see, the Code is unspoken. It rests only upon the rider's conscience. Perhaps therein lies the only flaw with the Code.

See you out on the road,
Bob

The Trial Of The Decade

The courtroom was full of a variable Who's Who in the local cycling community. There was literally standing room only in the warm stuffy chamber. This is, in fact, the trial of the decade. It rivals the infamous "Scopes" trial in...uh, scope and has all the celebrity of a Honey Boo Boo episode. Oh yeah, this is the big time.

The defendant, that Bad Mayonnaise, was present at the front of the courtroom with his two attorneys; Lawman assisted by the ever popular Jackie Childs. They appear ready for a tough fight with stacks of documentation, to defend their client, laid upon the table in front of the three warriors. The victim, The Code, was resting atop his table across the room as if not bothered in the slightest by the new found notoriety. Before this trial, The Code was completely unspoken except in the quiet expressions of casual post ride stories.

A hush falls over the courtroom as the Jury arrives, one by one they file in through the door opposite the bench at the front. Several familiar, although expressionless faces in the Jury. The foreman is the last to be seated and is met with moans from those in support of the defendant. It's because the Jury foreman is none other than the nefarious Left Lane. My eyes wander through the sea of anxious faces until my gaze falls upon the Executioner standing in the front right corner across from the juror's box. It is none other than The Crusher gently swinging a four foot long section of bicycle chain with a ten speed cassette welded to one end. He has a wry smile upon his face. Alongside the Bench is Nestordamus the court reporter. It appears he's writing down a prediction. Next to the Bench is the bailiff, Chris Huffin Puffin breathing as though he just finished a century. Suddenly he barks out, "All rise!"

In struts Judge Vortex attired in full legal robe with burgundy velvet trim and decked out with a white, long wavy haired wig upon his head. His cycling shoes protruding.  He is seated upon the bench as the bailiff cries, "Be seated." With a rap of his gavel he begins most sober instructions, first to the Jury, then directed to the legal counsel...especially Mr. Childs. No sooner than he has finished, then he asks The Code for a list of the charges against the defendant. The Code, of course being unspoken, says nothing. The Code is silent, resting only upon a rider' conscience. The quiet was deafening. Judge Vortex looks upward with one index finger tapping slowly upon his chin. Slowly, ever so slowly. The entire courtroom look upward as well, as if to say, "What's he looking at?" Among the dim lights are only two paddle fans turning slowly. Slowly, ever so slowly.

He then nods to the defendant's attorney, "Proceed."  What seemed to be hours was, in fact, less than 45 minutes. Several character (COUCs) witnesses testified as to the integrity of the Bad Mayo. Evidence was presented that gave the appearance the defendant was robbed of his "special" Annual Pass and the monies held within his cycling pack that fateful Friday. All the while, The Code sat quietly, never objecting to any testimony. The Code, you see, is unspoken. Finally, the Bad Mayo himself, was called to the stand. After being administered the oath, he made his heartfelt, plea to the Jury...

"Alright now! Come on fellas. I mean gohlee...it was just a big misunderstanding. I love the Code. I named my dog Code. In fact, let's just call this what it is, a Kangaroo Court, and get outta here. Whaddaya say fellas, let's go for a ride?!" And with that the gavel in the hand Judge Vortex came crashing down upon the bench. Pointing his fractured gavel at the casually lighthearted Mayo, he began to admonish his use of terms in referring to the Court, when suddenly Lawman jumps to his feet and declares, "The defense rests it's case your Honor." With that, the Judge slowly turned to the Jury and expressed that they were excused for deliberation.

Now we wait...

Did Mayo Violate The Code?

Well, well, well, isn't this a fine kettle of fish?! No sooner has the peloton enjoyed a few days of perhaps the most excellent riding in months, then someone has to come along and violate the Code. Yes, and do such an heinous act in such an insidious way. It would lead one to think that there must be some twisted, warped agenda lying deep within the criminal mind of the culprit...I mean suspect. (In this country we are innocent until proven guilty.) Although, intent is 9/10 of a criminal act. Without intent it is difficult to prove that the act was actually criminal. Anyone observe any intent Friday morning?

Let's review the facts, shall we?

A. The Bad Mayo shows up to the ride 3 minutes early. This was, in fact, the first time he ever showed up early to anything...or at least any ride.
B. Within seconds of his arrival, the Bad Mayo begins to lobby the others for a change in the stated route (Pine Forest) for a new choice (Fort Pickens) for the day. (Note that he did not wait until the other leaders arrived to begin his coercion.) It is suspected that the knowledge of being the most popular topic on the Blogazoidal in recent history, (a record 137 hits in one day.), may have emboldened him to test drive his new found level of popularity. If true, it would determine he had a motive.
C. Upon the arrival of the other leaders to the start area, he quickly announces that everyone present had agreed to a different route. This was met by no small amount of suspicion by the other leaders, as the decision had already been determined before their arrival. They were, in fact, "Disinclined to acquiesce to his request." (It means, they really didn't care about the route, rather it was the way in which the change was processed.)
D. The Bad Mayo seals the deal by declaring that he has a "special" Annual Pass to get through the gate at Fort Pickens for himself and several other riders. (This is a crucial piece of evidence in determining his intent.)
E. Once at the entrance gate to the Park, he mysteriously is devoid of his Annual Pass. Nor does he possess the money to gain others entrance or even himself through the gate.

This, my fellow riders, are the facts and is the case against the Bad Mayonnaise. Has he violated the Code? Has he gone one step too far in his presuming upon the good nature of the corporate peloton? Could this spell an end to the man we have all come to know and love as the Bad Mayo? You, the jury must decide!

You may ask, "What is this Code that he has violated?" If you have to ask, you are not among those considered inside the peloton. Among whom are the COUCs, the Clydesdales, Sultans of Speed, Young Jedis, Hammerheads and the like. These know full well what constitutes an encroachment of the Code. However, for those of you reading this from distant lands, the Code is more of a set of guidelines than an actual code. (Ever seen Pirates of the Caribbean? Kind of like that except with bicycles, not swords.) Nonetheless, those who break them are severely censored. The Code is unspoken, yet quite obvious to all who witness it's infringement. Even the culprit, knows exactly what he did wrong however powerless he may be to stop his errant action. Such may be the case of the Bad Mayo. Regardless, the penalties, if convicted by the Jury, are very stiff and with lasting consequences.

For those of you who know what to do and don't do it, there is a breach of the Code.

Let's review The Code for the sake of the Jury;

The 13 Decrees Of The Code:
1. The route is the route.
2. If you don't know where you are going, stay out of the lead.
3. When in the lead, pull for the sake of others, not yourself.
4. If you're not the lead dog, the view never changes.
5. Pass on the left, hammer on the right.
6. If you can't back it up, don't suggest it.
7. Be self sufficient.
8. No whining.
9. Keep your machine repaired.
10. Go to the back for "snot rockets" and other relieving of pressure.
11. The Hammock Sprint beats a Fried Twinkie and the TERAD trumps all.
12. A Little Debbie beats a Fig Newton and a Krispy Kreme trumps all.
13. No juice, no matter how small the little white pill.

Now, you the Jury must decide from the facts, and the facts alone, if the Bad Mayo has violated any of the 13 Decrees of the Code. Although, remember; "He who is without trespass, cast the first stone."   This should probably be the 14th Decree. Did I mention the Code is kind of, shall we say...fluid?! What may be a violation today, may be encouraged as acceptable tomorrow. Example: Decree 2 "If you don't know where you are going, stay out of the lead." A violation of this important axiom will be met with much sneering within the peloton. However, a violation may well be overlooked, if the peloton would just as soon rid itself of the violator and therefore will not mention a word of consternation at the next turn in the route. Thus solving the problem of the violator and the violation all in one non-action. O yeah baby, we're fluid!

Please post all your responses in terms of "Guilty" or "Not Guilty" to rjgravesjr@cox.net  I will post the verdict as soon as the Jury returns. Until then, I'll...

See you out on the road,
Bob

That Was Sick!

After almost a full week of illness, I decided to head out yesterday for an easy spin up to the Post Office to send out some mail. It was the warmest part of the day and that full sun sure felt good! After more than a week off the machine, I was really anxious to see how the old body would do. I am delighted to report that I made the whole distance (12 miles) at a blazing pace! (11.1mph average...including the 28mph downhill on 12th Avenue). The beastly ride was so brutal that I spent the next 2 hours on the sofa in my family room coughing and hacking while watching reruns of the Brady Bunch. Talk about sick!

Well, I'm feeling a bit better today, but still not back to 100%. This has been some nasty flu! However, I am really looking forward to getting in a few miles this week with the COUCs. Did I mention EASY miles?! (I'm using the word "easy" here to describe the pace that I am looking forward to while riding with the Cast Of Unusual Characters. That was my best impersonation of Melvin Udaul.) And what a schedule of rides we have scheduled on the schedule of rides scheduled...or something like that.

Here is your 2012 Thanksgiving Holiday Riding Schedule:

1. Wednesday at 8am at Maygarden and Summit. 30 miles at a moderate pace. This is Crusher's pre-feast no guilt ride.

2. Thanksgiving Day at 8am at Maygarden and Summit for this 20 to 25 mile Starbucks ride. This annual parade pace is the social event of the Holiday Ride Schedule. Come on out and bring your spouse or significant other! (uh...just not both.)

3. Friday at 8am leaving from the Fish and Wildlife launch pad. This will keep us far away from the Black Friday madness in the shopping areas.

4. Saturday will see the peloton back at Maygarden and Summit at 8am for one of our usual loops.

5. Sunday at 3pm for the Mayo Cruiser Loop leaving from East Hill's favorite park; Bayview.

Come on out and burn off those mash potatoes and pumpkin pie! Hey, why not burn some calories before, during and after the feasting?! Look forward to seeing everyone and Happy Thanksgiving!!!

See you out on the road,
Bob

A Ride In The Hammock

On tap for tomorrow is one of our group's favorite rides; Hurst Hammock, or also known as The Twisted Hammock. This classic route meanders along familiar roads out to the Beulah area before making the turn that leads to Hurst Hammock itself. (For those of you who have never been in the Hammock, you are in for a real treat!) The pace up to this turn is usually along the moderate lines as the riders enjoy a get reacquainted session after the week long efforts of solo riding. Once we turn towards the Hammock however, all bets are off as the ride morphs into a race...with the Hammock Town Sign as the finish line. On occasion, the peloton has seen speeds into the mid 30s along this stretch as well as an all out rompin', stompin' sprint as the icing on the cake. It's always good fun!

The start time is 8am at Maygarden and Summit for this 50 miler. There is an option for those who would like a few more miles. (thus the "Twisted" moniker). Don't worry, we'll regroup at the two rest stops before continuing onward. And for those of you concerned about the pace, except for the Hammock Sprint and Maygarden Sprint at the end of the ride, the pace is usually moderate, (see Pace Chart below). The course is somewhat hilly but not bad. After the second rest stop it's pretty much flat. It's a great route and even more fun with the Dog and Pony show that is the F&S peloton!

What a cast of unusual characters! (COUCs)  Even, a Cirque du Soleil has nothing on these guys!

The weather forecast looks very nice with temps in the low to mid 60s at start time and topping out in the low 70s by the time we're cranking it up on Maygarden. Can you say sunshine aplenty?! Really looking forward to seeing everyone for a ride in the (Twisted) Hammock! But, until then, I'll...

See you out on the road,
Bob

Be A LLEMMR!

It is truly a sad day...no more evening rides until March 2013! This time of the year is always difficult to deal with emotionally. The days are shorter, colder and we have less group riding. However, if you can look at this objectively, we still have fantastic weekend rides, not to mention our Holiday Riding Schedule...just no evening rides. What's a rider to do for miles logged? Well, one of our very own has offered his own unique solution (uh, shall we say, from the Left Lane).

Introducing: Left Lane's Early Morning Madness Rides! ( LLEMMR)

Instead of me trying to explain the concept second hand, here is the Visionary, in his own words, describing in a way only he can describe, how to become a LLEMMR.

"As the time changes and we can no longer ride after work (for those in the peloton who still have to work….my goal in life that one day oil would come up when I flush the toilet…looks like an improbability…probably do not own the mineral rights to my East Hill Manor anyway!!) it is once again time for LEFT LANES MORNING MADNESS RIDES to begin.

Realizing several years ago that I had to maintain a schedule of riding 4 to 5 days a week to maintain any semblance of form and to have a reasonable chance of keeping up with what has become a faster, somewhat younger, hammering peloton, I started trying to ride 2 to 3 mornings a week starting with the time change in early November each year. 

Of course when riding in the mornings during Fall/Winter the weather becomes the main factor in which days I ride.  Typical rule of thumb for me has been that the temperature must be above 35 degrees, the wind must be below around 18mph, No Rain, and also Morning Fog can sometimes cancel my plans to ride. I use the hourly weather forecast on Weather Underground for conditions/radar the night before to determine suitability of the next morning’s conditions.  For these reasons I hesitate to set specific days to ride but typically I will ride 3 days out of Monday to Thursday with Friday a day off (unless it is impossible to ride the other days of the week). 

Last year I was joined consistently by Johnny Bugno (Dukes) and Nestordamus (Nestor) for these rides.  Whereas I live in East Hill, I get on my bike around 5:25AM at my house at 1424 E Gadsden Street (Gadsden is 1 block south of and runs parallel to Cervantes Street).  I head up Scenic Highway to Summit (lights aflashing) and we join up at Summit & Spanish Trail at 5:45AM.  The typical Course is up Spanish to Creighton, to 9^th Ave, to Olive, to Johnson, to Olive, to Davis, to U Mall, to Burgess to Sarah then the infamous Mansierre Loop which takes us to Old Palafox wherein we turn at the road by Pensacola Christian over the Railroad tracks then through the hood over the viaduct and coming out on Davis Highway.  At Blount Johnny heads to work and Nestor and I head to East Hill where I arrive typically around 6:55 or so to get ready for work and Nestor heads back to the Cordova area. 

I  typically end up with around 24 miles and we average in the 16 to 17mph range as we alternate pulls at the front.  These morning rides are more of a team effort with no Sprints/Antics (hammerheads need not apply) and a goal of getting in some valuable miles at a consistent pace during the week.

If anyone is interested (please only those who are really considering riding) in joining the MORNING MADNESS crew, send me an E-mail at rlopiccolo@airdesignhvac.com and I will add you to the list and I will send out an E-mail the afternoon before we plan to ride.  With riders disbursed all over, you can join our ride anywhere along the route not just at my house or at Summit and Spanish Trail…just determine where and when we are nearest to your home.  Please note with the demands of having to complete the ride and get to work, we do not stop and wait for anyone to show up…so if you plan on riding be timely or know when we will pass your point of joining the ride.  Riders will need both front and tail lights and should have proper cold weather gear once the temperatures drop significantly."

So join the guys for one of these rides and become part of an unique group known as the LLEMMERs. (Not to be confused with the Lemmings, a close relative from the rodent family who lives mainly in the Arctic regions. Nope, these guys like the warm weather.) You always learn something new when you tune in to this channel.

See you out on the road,

Bob

Another Beautiful Weekend (For A Fat Burner?)

If you love a warm sun and a cool breeze, this weekend is for you! All indications are for an absolutely fabulous ride tomorrow morning! Can't wait to get out with the COUCs on the Innerarity Point Loop. We'll start from Fish and Wildlife at 8am for this 50 miler. Let's try to keep the pace as advertised, okay? In fact, on our WFW Hammerfest (let's call it what it really is) last evening, Happy was mentioning how fast this year has been. I thought it meant "time flies", however he responded with how fast the peloton has been this year. He also wondered out loud if it, "...were possible to have some more moderately paced rides instead of always having to kill ourselves."

I have heard this sentiment from more than one rider in our group lately. Perhaps this winter, we could have a few more of, what Coolio likes to entitle, "Fat Burner Rides". These rides keep the heart rate in a more moderate schedule thereby burning fat for energy instead of glucose (glycogen) or carbohydrates. Using the latter for energy makes you want to eat the kitchen when you arrive home after a hard effort. It's because, and I'm simplifying here, you are not burning your fat stores or reserves for fuel. Fat is a great source of fuel and when used correctly, one can maintain an extended level of aerobic activity. (Some of us have a greater source then others) However, when the body switches from burning fat to burning carbs, the length of the activity is greatly diminished. And, as an added liability, you need to refuel more often...i.e. eat the kitchen!

I know, I know, it's alot more complicated then what I am explaining here, however do some research on your own to confirm the dynamics of heart rate to level of exertion and what exactly you are burning for fuel. You'll be amazed at what you find and may want to slow it down a bit. (Check out the production of Free Radicals as well). The key is to keep your heart rate up high enough to where it is just under the invisible "switch" where it begins to use your glycogen stores. That's the trick and it is different with each individual based mainly on their level of current fitness as well as some other factors. Again, I'm simplifying here.

Now, here is a very basic guideline for you to consider: Take the number 210. Subtract your age. This number is generally considered your maximum (sustainable) heart rate per minute (bpm). Now, multiply by 70% to 80% and this gives you the basic target heart rate range for burning fat. Above this range, you're using glycogen. Again, this is very basic and is movable based on your fitness level. However, if you are 50 years old, for example, your maximum heart rate would be around 160bpm. Multiply that by 70% and you have a general heart rate of around 112bpm. 80% is 128bpm. This 112 to 128bpm would be a good range or "Target Zone" for you, based on your level of fitness, to aim for on your next ride. (Just for grins, check what your actual rate is on our next ride!)

Again, this is very basic and should be researched for your own benefit. And you will benefit greatly! There are however, very sophisticated tests where you can be measured while actually exercising that can determine your exact heart rate where your "switch" lies. I visited one such facility in the Phoenix area.  The test takes about 2 hours and costs $300. Fascinating science. And much more precise than what is being communicated here. But, this is just a means to perhaps persuade our peloton to consider a more moderate pacing this winter riding season.

Now you may argue, "How can those of varying levels of fitness ride together and maintain their individual "Target Zones?" Ah, good question my young Padawan. We use gearing and cadence as well as time in the draft or up front pulling. Try your own experiment, it works!

And speaking of experiments, there are several to choose from (check the Rides Calendar) in the near future. Not as many as before the time changes this Sunday however. Remember to fall back one hour! Yes, I know, I was wrong this past Tuesday at the TERAD. No more emails! It wasn't the first time I have been mistaken...and I can guarandadgumtee you it won't be the last!

See you out on the road,
Bob

Mayo And Sharpe At It Again

We all know and love David "Bad Mayonnaise" Mayo and Josh "Danger" Sharpe. They definitely are two pillars of the peloton. These two characters have gone at each other for years. Just about every week on our rides they continually compete against one another.  Who can forget the infamous antics in the Pensacola Cycling Classic Criterium a couple years ago? Sharpe took Mayo into the wall (fence) with a few meters left in the race for a Sharpe win. (Or was it the other way around?) This was an apparent payback for some incident in the road race the previous day. The recent Fenner Century would be another example of the competitive nature of these local boys. And they were at it yet again last Sunday! 

This time in Washington, DC!

The setting was the Marine Corps Marathon and both of our hand cyclists were there competing. They both finished in the Top Ten so congratulations are in order. It appears however, that there is yet another controversy between the two mavericks. They both, as you would suspect, tell different stories. In fact, Bad Mayo claims Danger Sharpe tricked him into starting in a different location and thus making Mayo ride the entire MCM alone without the help of a draft. Sharpe, who is no stranger to Mayo's accusations, had done his reconnaissance and choose a more advantageous position at the start line. He categorically denies any wrong doing by himself or his team of spies. (helpers)

In his defense, Mayo was at a distinct disadvantage being himself without his usual armada. Many a declaration by Sharpe that Mayo drafts his armada has been met with claims by the Bad Mayo that it's just sour grapes. Both vehemently deny any charges that they are doping. (Other than perhaps a few Krispy Kremes. Do they have Krispy Kreme in DC?) By the way, the consumption of Krispy Kremes before an event was judged to be doping. Remember several years ago that nasty 8 day trial before the Federal District Court? "USADA vs. Coolio". The chocolate covered, cream filled was being flung that week.

Regardless, the two rascals did us all and themselves very proud as they finished 4th and 6th in one of the biggest races in the country. Congratulations Josh and David!!!  (Uh, I'll let you guess who finished where.) Or better yet, come on out tonight for the TERAD and congratulate them yourself for their fantastic results! You'll get to see (hear) them go at it again as well...and that's always good fun!

It all starts at 5pm at Maygarden and Summit tonight. Should be a great ride, always is!

See you out on the road,
Bob

The Dreaded Is Upon Us!

That which is the arch enemy of every athlete and it seems especially cyclists, is now upon us in full force! I send out this Blogazoidal Post as a warning cry not unlike Paul Revere more than two centuries ago. If you are of a serious nature regarding your sport and fitness level, you will want to heed this sage advice. Because, my friends, the dreaded is now upon us!

But, before we sound the alarm too loudly, let's first peek in on the peloton's antics from last Saturday. 

The group, albeit smaller than usual, seemed quite game as we stood in the chilly air under cloudy skies waiting for the habitual late-comers. Most never showed. We didn't blame them, as it was windy, cloudy and in the low 50s...not an ideal Florida cycling day. Funny, the forecast day before had called for sunny skies, which as you know, make all the difference in this part of the world. Regardless, we launched out on the Pine Forest Loop more as a huddled mass then a long string of riders. It really was the first real brisk day of this Autumn riding season.

We rode our way westward along familiar roads eventually popping out on Massachusetts and the first real speed of the day. Several took it into the mid 20s mph starting with a pull from the Vortex himself. Circle K and Scary Gary (Uh, sorry Gary but everyone get's a nickname and it was either Hairy or Scary...I chose the latter.), had the bit between the teeth as they brought us up to the right hander onto Mobile Hwy. We made the quick left turn and onto very nice roads for about 5 miles. Then another left turn onto Interstate Ave. This is where things really began to heat up. On the second of two short hills, Scary Gary and a young Jedi got a gap of about 70 meters which they extended to about 150 with 2 kilometers left to the line. (This is the infamous Pine Forest Sprint, aka PFS, that has been the site of many a peloton antic as well as a few close calls with with those driving pickup trucks...just ask Happy.)

A chase group of Circle K, Danamal, Subway Shorts (Home of the Big Hoagie) and the Vortex formed, not wanting to allow the young Jedi or Scary Gary the honors without a fight. As they passed under the Flam Rouge, (That's French, it means: 1k to go banner), the lead was cut in half. Soon thereafter, Subway Shorts gave up the ghost and Circle K put the hammer down with Danamal and Vortex in tow. At the 500m mark the lead was 20 meters and closing. The fans were going wild! The chase group finally blew past the leaders with less than 400 meters to go as the escape had run out of gas. At 200 meters with Circle K still doing his version of a suicide pull, Vortex jumps hard leaving his two allies in the chase group behind and taking the PFS honors for the first time in what seems to be over a decade. The key word there was "seems".

After a brief stop at Raceway, the group decided on a stop a Starbucks would be more appropriate on this blustery Fall morning. Great time by the way. A nice hot latte and good conversation with friends warms up any chill.

Soon we were back at it heading east and south towards home. We enjoyed a nice tailwind at times which made the ride back all the more enjoyable. As we turned onto Langley however, the group got suspiciously quiet as more than one rider was calculating this last 5k into the finish on Maygarden. The Prenti accomplished a nice pull down Langley before turning the duties over to the Vortex on Spanish. Vortex hauled the bunch until just about 2k to go. In the changing of the guard, there was a bit of confusion however and the pesky young Jedi escaped yet again. He enjoyed a 50m lead until just under 1k to go. (There was still plenty of fight left in this group.) At the catch, there was a counter move which separated three upfront from the rest. However, with 200m to go it was the young Jedi with Danamal on his wheel. (I've seen how this movie ends before!) With 100m to the line, the Danamal in all his Bianchi framed, Zipp wheeled glory, clicks a gear and with a wry smile mumbles, "AMF!" (Uh...lest there is any misunderstanding, that's a phrase know to our Spanish neighbors to the south. It means, "Adios My Friend!"

Danamal wins the final sprint with the young Jedi taking silver and Circle K the bronze. Great ride on what turned out to be a beautiful sunny, although a bit windy day! A day that sent a wake up call throughout the peloton. Yes, a day that revealed that the dreaded may be on the horizon...

It's true. Every year the time changes moving that warm sun back an hour and causing more than a few cyclists to retreat indoors. But, there is a more insidious enemy to the cyclist than a lack of miles or hours in the aerobic zone. Yes, it too visits this time of year...every year! And this dreaded foe is now upon us in all it's crafty, deceptive and stealthy magnificence. It is time to sound the proverbial alarm! The dreaded Eating Season is now overtaken us in full force! Beware my friends, be very aware! It will creep into your home and entice you to do things you would otherwise never do! I have seen the fittest of athletes diminished (or expanded) to a shadow of their former beastly selves. This cunning season lasts only a few weeks, but it's consequences can be devastating for months and even years to come!

You may ask, "Brother Bob, when did this awful season start?" I answer to you, my naive friend, "Do you have Halloween candy in your home?" If you answered in the affirmative...then run! Run far away! Save yourself! You ask, "How long does this terrible season besiege us?" It's grasp usually lasts until sometime just a few minutes after midnight on New Years Eve. At that point, most deceived folks express they have what they describe as an "awakening from a fog", (not unlike the one they will awake from the following morning after the consumption of a few too many adult beverages the previous night),  followed by a long list of repentances, vows or "resolutions". These so-called New Years Resolutions usually last but a few days or weeks as the penitent ones make a valiant effort to revert back to their pre-Eating Season fitness level. However, most are discouraged by the gross image they view in the bathroom mirror and give up in disgust and disgrace...and a few other "dis" words!

Now is the time to fight! Take up your sword, (bike), and go to battle (bike ride)! Your fellow soldiers (riders) are ready to fight with you! (Uh, that's a metaphor.) Don't give up! If you do...

Beware my friends, the dreaded is upon us.

See you out on the road,
Bob

Another Triple F

Yes, ladies and gentlemen of the peloton, tomorrow marks yet another Triple F...uh, Fox's Friday Frolic that is. He has yet again spared absolutely no expense in bringing you the finest Friday work skipping ride know on the planet. However, as you may have guessed, in keeping with the season, he will be in full disguise so as to be, shall we say, incognito. (Uh...that's Latin for those of you less fortunate than my multi-lingual self. It means; "Having one's identity concealed, especially to avoid notice or attention.") You see, Crusher has become a bit shy regarding these FFF rides, after having several missiles in the form of office equipment hurled at him by seemingly otherwise friendly cyclists. I guess having to work while others are riding has the potential of bringing out the worst in those laboring away in their work cubicles.

Anyway, if you have a couple hours free tomorrow morning, come on out for Fox's Friday Frolic! (No disguise required.) Here are the particulars:

Friday 8:30am at Maygarden and Summit. Approximately 30 to 35 miles at a moderate pace. We'll probably head up to UWF/Scenic Hills or maybe 3 Amigos Loop. Regardless, the weather forecast looks fantastic.

If you can't make the Triple F, come on out Saturday morning at 8am at Maygarden and Summit for the Pine Forest Loop. We haven't done this one in a while. It's 45 miles of rompin', stompin' fun!

See you out on the road,
Bob

Great TERAD!

The boys were a bit frisky last night! However, I am very glad to report the admonishment to be a bit safer in the peloton did not fall on deaf ears! In fact, the only real shenanigans was on Maygarden just after the turn off from Spanish Trail. You see, the Vortex had pulled up Spanish after a beastly stretch by Justin (Bieber wearing a Florida Gators jersey) down Langley in the upper 20s mph. However, as we made the right hander onto Maygarden itself, Twin Six (aka Murph) turned to the dark side of cycling. Here's what transpired: Juan Pelota had gone to the front with the declaration, "I'll set a moderate pace!" Twin Six settled in behind him and the group followed suit. The followers noticed that Twin Six had allowed a small gap between himself and Juan. And instead of closing this gap for the entire paceline, he casually  dislodges his taillight and it falls to the pave'.

At the time, all but the most savvy riders among us thought it to be an innocent failure of Twin Six to attach the light properly to his machine.  Soon, however the intent became evident to all as the chase was on to reel in the escaped Juan Pelota who now had quite a gap on the group. Conspiracy cries were heard throughout the group as the realization the Twin Six and Juan were actually in cahoots in this dirty cycling tactic birthed on the dark side. Several of the "unawares" did more than their share to pull back the lone bandit, catching him with about 500 meters to go in this day's proceedings.

Then, the maneuverings for the sprint commenced. There at the finish was Gator Gustin, Fishbone, Murph and Juan. However, all had spend their load as Gatorboy Gustin, (need to settle on a proper nickname) took the honors by inches in front of the rest. Great ride and a lot of fun!

Hey, there's more yet this week starting with the WFW Hammerfest tonight at 5pm. We also have a great ride scheduled for Saturday morning. AND...don't forget the LAST Full Moon Ride of this 2012 riding season! It is this Sunday at 5pm starting from Casino Beach Parking Lot! Wow, only two more TERADS left this year...total bummer! Oh well, lots of great riding still ahead, even if it is only on the weekends! Check the Rides Calendar for all the details and rides scheduled through the end of the year!!!

See you out on the road,
Bob

Another Hammerfest!

This past Saturday was your classic Hammerfest. We were scheduled to do the group fave Lillian Loop but decided on the Perdido Key Killer route instead. We started out under sunny although somewhat breezy skies which made for a wond-erroneous tailwind. (The kind that only a seasoned cyclist knows means Sufferfest on the way back.) The pace was quite frisky as the peloton seemed determined to drop any would be imposters along the way. At one point on Jackson, the group was cruising along at a "moderate" (the pace that was advertised on the Rides Calendar) pace in the high 20s mph. Ah yes, the boys love a good Hammerfest.

This is a far cry from last season's peloton which cried and complained anytime the speed would exceed 1/2 an mph above the announced pace for the route. Not one word of discontent this year. Hammer down! I will say one thing though; there needs to be more of a regard for safety within the peloton this year. I may be over sensitive to this as I just passed the one year Crashaverssary of the worse accident I have ever had the misfortune of participation. Perhaps some of you will remember that awful evening?! I know Crusher and I can still pull up the memories as if it were last evening. We both have lingering physical and psychological issues, although thankfully very much diminished. I can say this for an absolute certainty though; "I have no desire to ever go through that again!" Nor do I wish for any other cyclist to endure such a hardship. Therefore, I encourage everyone, please let's be careful out there!

Now, I love a good Hammerfest as much as anyone...perhaps more than most, but not at all costs. I used to think differently about this, not any more. So, when we are heads down, eyes blurred stomping away in an effort to stay in the draft of the guy who is inches in front of you...and he is doing the same thing, this becomes a very dangerous situation that only lacks opportunity to turn into disaster. Look, there's no Gold Medal at the finish line at the end of the ride. No million dollar prize awaiting first place and be assured, no picture on the front page of USA Today for anyone who crosses the line ahead of the rest. However, if we go down, you will have at least one medal...perhaps several in the form of scars, stitches, surgeries, casts for your broken bones, IVs and the like. And there will be an exchange of money...I guarantee it! And I hope you aren't listed in the papers...

"Ah come on man, don't be ridiculous, you just had freak accident!" Yep, I sure did and don't want to be a part of anything even resembling that again. Therefore, I have said all this for your consideration...Please let's be careful out there! We all need to go back to work the next day, we all have bills to pay and families to support as well as rides we would like to do in the future. Yes, let's go fast! But above that, let's be safe!!! And if that means backing it down an mph or two, Do It! If that means, letting the squirelly one ride off ahead of the group, Do It! If it means, speaking up or calling another rider out when he's doing something stupid or dangerous, then Do It! Do it now, don't wait until after the crash!!! You never know, you may be the one on the floor...

See you out on the road,
Bob

PS. Several of you have mentioned to me the above referenced issue. However, none wanted to say anything to anyone else. So, on behalf of those quiet ones among us, I have attempted to do the concern justice. If you don't like my handling of the matter, then speak up! Say something! It is every cyclist's responsibility to assure a safe ride by his own actions and admonishing the actions of his fellow riders. We haven't had a bad crash in quite a long time. Some have said we're due. I say, let's pay closer attention to riding safely. What do you say?