Note to reader: Seriously, this guy is infamous. He shows up out of nowhere, writes a report and vanishes into the night before you can say abracadabra, or something like that. Met him once in a dimly lit cafe in a dark alley in Kalamazoo back in '93. He was wearing a cloak and a wide brim hat that covered most of his face. (He doesn't actually wear a mask because as he explained, then people would know he's the Masked Writer.) He spoke with a British accent...or was it Aussie? Maybe New Zealand? He appeared to be in his mid 50s or maybe early 60s...I don't know. But, he definitely is "the most interesting man in the world."
But to start us out, here's the View From The Left Lane:
Had a great turnout for the TERAD. Around
20 riders or so with many of the usuals including Murphy, Big Motor, Bad Mayo,
Crusher Fox, Prentis, Nestordamus, Bryan, Coolio, Hurt Burt and his son Little
Burt, Chris, The Chunginator a guest appearance by James Stinson and a cast of
thousands… well maybe five more.
Bad Mayo was again on Josh’s
Rolling Red Wagon (RRW) complaining about oxidized paint trying to justify the
Low Ball Offer I am sure Dave will make to Josh now that he realizes he is
faster on this machine than his ThunderBolt GreaseSlapper regular ride!! Hurt Burt was going on about not riding for a
month….seems Work is getting in the way of his Riding Career…but somehow I
figured Scott would still be up near the front at the end.
Weather was near perfect but a
little windy and we started off with Bryan and then Prenti leading us toward
the first trip up Langley. As we went by
the runway the ever fastidious Coolio almost took out the Left Lane as he tried
to avoid the sprinklers system which was running over into the bike lane.
Luckily not a drop got on his sparkling blue machine!! Pace was moderate for a
TERAD and the usual Hammerfest never happened on the first Langley trip (into
the wind) with Left Lane actually leading the last ½ mile or so to Spanish
Trail. Group stayed together up Spanish
and through the Crit running at a moderate pace until we turned in from Scenic
and the hammer went down into the upper 20’s.
Even Bad Mayo on the RRW did the whole ride (as opposed to his normal
“Reverse Crit”) and kept up with the group.
Usual hammerfest on the long
straight before Chapel Street with Murphy leading the way. As we completed the neighborhood loop and
headed to Burgess, Chunginator worked his way to the front and had the bit
between his teeth with Left Lane on his wheel.
Unfortunately he dropped his chain as he was picking up the pace, but
was able to reacquire his gear with out incident as the peloton hammered by.
No breakaway antics today with
the wind in the face on Langley and after what seemed like an endless wait at
the two lights the boys were ready to rock…well not until after the runway (as
per Dave’s request) where I believe Chung and Bryan went back to the front and
kicked up the pace. The Hammerfest was
on with upper 20s to low 30s as we turned onto Spanish Trail with light turning
green just in time and the group hammering through the turn.
At this point the peloton motored
on mostly together with the exception of Prenti, Bad Mayo and the “Infirmity
Division” of the peloton …the recovering Foxinator, the lame kneed Left Lane (I
would have been back here anyway!!).
Also falling off was Little Burt who had a great ride and kept up the
whole ride until the Peloton exploded up Spanish Trail. Watch out for this kid
in a couple of years!!
That’s where my story ends where
the View From the Left Lane became the View from the Back!! Great Ride as usual!
Now, here's the report from The Masked Writer...somewhere in the bushes near the finish line:
The group made the turn from Langley onto Spanish Trail.
Twin Six took the initial pull and increased the pace to 24-25
mph with the pack in tow.
Turned onto Maygarden with a brief check due to oncoming
traffic.
Pace increased hard. Brian (you'll have to meet him and provide
a name) starts the pull with Bryan "Juan Pelota" Paul, James "The Piston(s)" Stinson and Twin Six in tow.
There are others behind but, don’t know who since I’m focused on the four
riders in front. The winner will come from these four I surmise. Brian takes a monster pull and rolls out. Juan Pelota is
next up battling a fierce headwind. Big Pistons remains behind him while Twin Six Murph sits behind Big Pistons dreaming of Mountain Dew, which he shared with me that he has given up for a while because "It makes strong like bull." Check that...Coolio says; "Wind makes strong like bull." (Me thinks someone is full of bull...)
Back to live action:
These guys are fast! The pace has escalated from 23.5 mph to 27 mph down the
chute into the headwind.
Juan Pelota Paul rolls off with about a kilometer to go.
Then the Big Pistoned Stinson gets in the drops and increases the pace. They are going ballistic!
Brian gone.
Juan gone.
No more thinking about Mountain Dew and hamburgers, Twin Six has the lead out of his life! Big Pistons is about to launch the Twin Six missile into orbit!!!
Big Pistons is spent at 400m to go leaving Twin Six Murph all alone to roll
through the sprint point at a wind battered 30 mph. The fans were going absolutely wild! This hidden reporter was a bit disappointed frankly. I was really looking forward to the rare sighting of a Sprint Royale! (For those of you unawares; a Sprint Royale is where at least 3 competitors are charging for the finish line ala Mano-O-Mano! Although very rare, it is a joy to behold.)
Rest of the pack makes their way in as I yawn from my place of concealment. Started for the car but did a u-turn just
in time to see Papa P beat David "Bad Mayonnaise" Mayo to the line. Bad Mayo is definitely quicker
on the shiny red machine. And the added bonus of the riders behind him not having to dodge parts as they fall off his older machine he used to ride!
Young Jacob Burt makes a great show for the evening and
wants to return next week.
Wow! That was a great report from our two guest commentators...one from the Left Lane and the other from the Masked Writer in the bushes. The suspense is killing me..."Who is that guy?"
See you out on the road,
Bob
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